Dealing with Changes

Amidst all the changes thrust upon me lately, I've been wondering how to adapt to these changes in order to properly survive all of this. Having the ground beneath your feet snatched from underneath you and several layers of wool pulled over your eyes certainly is a confusing situation. I know I tried getting angry. I tried getting drunk. I tried burrying myself in books. I tried everything. But nothing worked. The changes were still there.

So, instead of of doing battle with these changes, I did the next best thing. I ran away from them. Wow, what a dweeb, right? But last night, I drew strength from the familiar instead of forcing myself to be acquainted with the strange. I reached back into aspects of my life that have always given me comfort, and from there, I now know how to deal with the changes confronting me.

Days with the Lord
Early in the evening, I decided to take up the offer of a friend to visit the Days with the Lord her group prepared for the weekend. As it has been more than ten years since I last participated in a Days weekend, I knew that this was something that could be helpful to me. And it was since it brought back memories of my own Days experience way back in 1995. However, as I stood there with all the other people dressed in black, listening to a talk in one of the stations of the cross, I realized that even there where I sought to ground myself in familar ground, everything was really not the way I knew it. True enough, there I was in the middle of the Ateneo campus in Loyola, participating in a Days with the Lord weekend just like I did years ago. But this time, the Days was conducted by La Sallians. And even if this was not weird enough, I just remembered that the Ateneo itself did not have Days weekends anymore. But still, the experience was refreshing.

A stroll around the Campus
Since I was already back on the hill, I decided to go for a walk around campus and retrace my steps in halls and walkways that I have walked so many times. Upon entering Xavier hall, a wave of nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks. And this only escalated as I got to Edsa.




Suddenly, my college life came back at me with a vengeance, scolding me for forgetting about it for the past few years. Even without any people around, the whole place was alive with the great memories I had of it.

And then I saw it. Colayco Hall was no longer there. Instead, the MVP Center stood in its place.




I now wonder how the Musmos room looks? I did spend the last two years of my college life there, playing cards, singing along with friends as members took turns playing the guitar and staring out the door, watching the Celadon members just across the hall. Hehe. For some reason, Musmos was an org for tsinita lovers. But many things really have changed. I don't even know where our Judicial Council room is now since it was once located right where the MVP entrance now is.

Check out how the DS area now looks. Noel, this used to be your playground!



And could you believe this used to be where Food for Thought operated? Hehe. Park na siya! Yeah, yeah. Sorry for the crappy pic. All pics were taken by my phone camera. Despite having a 2 megapixel camera, picture quality really isn't that good, even for a phone.




The new Dela Costa with its guardian




All these changes brought about a sense of strangeness to the place where I often found comfort and security. As I chatted with the night guard, he told me that there were so many new developments in the Ateneo nowadays. Would you believe that there are two Figaro outlets on campus? And there was also to be a new MIS expansion wing connected to Xavier Hall.

Finally, I dropped by Eliazo Hall. I was pleasantly surprised to see that even after 5 years away, the lady guard on duty still remembered me. She told me that normally, I wouldn't be able to take a picture of the ladies' dorm without getting authorization from the school. But since she knew me (yep, tambay ako dun dati e), she allowed the picture. Its good to know some things never change. But she did tell me about her two new grandchildren so I gues there are just so many changes all around.




The Clincher

Since I was already determined to go down memory lane, I decided to go visit the high school. However, before actually getting there, saw that the way to the high school was blocked by a long line of cars. So I rolled down my window and asked a couple of high schoolers what was going on.

traveller: Bakit ang daming kotse dito?
kid 1: sir?
traveller: Bakit traffic?
kid 1: Ah, kasi PO, fair PO.
traveller: High school fair?
kid 1:OHO, sa high school PO. Kanina pa nga PO traffic.
Kid 2: Nice car PO!
traveller: tenkyu a.

Hehe. I never got to the high school. Was too busy realizing na matanda na pala talaga ako. I guess even I myself have changed.

Katips
Later that night, my core group met up with me over at Katips, our old college hang out. Here, and among the closest of friends, everything could be shared freely, especially troubles. Important matters were discussed, but more importantly, it was the camaraderie I felt that stuck with me. Here were people I've been with for so many years, and despite the fact that we rarely get to see each other anymore due to our changing schedules, every meeting is conducted as if no time has actually passed.

In the end, I now realize that I have been tackling the situation rather wrongly. For the past few days, I have been trying to change in accordance with how the rest of the world operates. But I am happy with the way I am right now. I am happy with the person I turned out to be. I know I am a good person, and for me, what I do is right. And if the world cannot appreciate that, tough. Like the old school, the peripherals may change, but what is important will never change. I believe that to change my perspective in such a drastic way as can be seen in my previous posts is to throw away who I really am. Changing my beliefs in this manner is simply stupid. Fine, it may work for other people, but not for me. If the rest of the world cannot see past their own noses, then thats their problem. Thats what makes them happy. Thats their belief.

There is a requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole word--- "no, you move." This is how I choose to deal with the changes in my life right now. And if you realize that I just quoted Captain America right now, you'd realize just what a big dweeb I really am.
And you know what? Who cares?