When Depression Hits....

....it hits like a sledge hammer. Yep, lately, I've been depressed out of my wits. Have you ever had those horrible days where everything just seems so heavy? Man, I hate days such as these. And the sweltering heat isn't helping any. Lately, I haven't been productive in everything I've been doing... or supposed to be doing.

I've been trying to pinpoint the reason for all this, but I guess my depression is brought about by a number of factors. Of course, there's the fact that some of the closest people in my life turned out to be the type of friends who would easily walk out on you if it would benefit them in any way. But as I look at it again, this isn't the real problem since I've already accepted the fact that some people have different values and that I just shouldn't put any faith on them. So the cause must be something else. Well, there's also the fact that I am absolutely doing a despicable job with all my subjects this semester. Yeah, I admit that I haven't been studying, and with the end of classes fast approaching, everything just seems to be piling up--both new requirements and old ones that have come back to haunt me in the form of rewrites(since I performed so poorly in the first place).

In any case, the depression is here, and I really should deal with it before my finals arrive. Man, this sensation is definitely taking its toll on me. I know I'm trying to cut back on drinking, but sometimes, a man's gotta drink when a man's gotta drink. So last night, I just had to drink with a couple of friends. I ended up drinking at the Fort until 4am with Red, Tommy, Ira and Nere. It was fun, but when I woke up this morning, the depression was already there to greet me.

I guess I really have to do something to get my mind off things. And I've been trying to do just that, but the world wont let me. Right now, I should be with some of my friends, having a grand time nature tripping in Kiangan, Ifugao(the less tourist-infested sibling of Sagada), but sadly, I'm here typing this post. The trip would have been a good 5 days, and since it's Holy Week, there'd be no problem with regard to having to cut class. But a commitment on the 4th day disposed of that plan. So, I did what any normal traveller would do: I made a trip for a lesser period of time so as not to hit that commitment date. With this, Nina, Nere, Maje and myself planned to climb Talamitam yesterday. Everything was set, but as luck would have it, Nere sprained her ankle playing volleyball. But everything wasn't a total loss though since the team won the game and bagged a championship title for the La Salle Graduate School!

So now, I'm here in front of the PC instead of being somewhere fun. Now, I'm melting in this irritating heat. Hopefully, the next few days will prove to be better for me. At least now, I have some absolutely free time to recharge just in time for the last of my school requirements. One good thing about my depressions though: I tend to lose my thriftyness whenever I feel down. So, I'm now planning on getting a new gadget for myself. As of the moment, I'm deciding on whether to indulge my traveling needs and get a good camera for all those photo ops (I'm now eyeing the Canon Powershot S3 is) or to revive the child in me and get a PSP! Hopefully, before the Holy Week is over, I would've already decided what to get.

But still, gadgets aren't enough. Man, I really need to get out of here. Staying at home can really drive a man insane. What with all these law and MBA books staring at me and accusing me for not using them enough. Hehe. As I said...insane....